can we get nightvision for the apartment?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
now i know why i became what i already was.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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