Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
