you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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