My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
