It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
