Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
