Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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