i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
