Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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