She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
