i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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