so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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