My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
