can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
