You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
