Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
