Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
