Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just found puke in my bra..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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