Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
