We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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