I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
this hospital has no fireball
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
