I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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