I'm really into asian looking animals
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
