Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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