im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
