I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
