I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
