Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
