Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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