O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can I color on your dick again?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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