i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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