We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
