How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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