nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
