She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
