I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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