i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i think i have two assholes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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