What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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