theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize