My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
MIDGETS
????
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
