Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
