I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
