Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
