I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Acid is not a monday night drug
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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