OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
