woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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