So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
