He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
