what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
