found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
