What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Rumble strips road head = magical
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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