That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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