winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
