I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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