Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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