Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
